Here’s How You Know You Think About Miles WAY Too Much!

This just never gets old for me.

You know you think about miles too much when:

  • You hear the words “mile a minute” and find yourself pondering the concept of earning bonus miles as a function of time.

  • You answer the question, “How many miles per gallon do you get?” with “It depends on what credit card I use.”

  • You unthinkingly ask your non-frequent flyer friend why she is taking the nonstop flight to London instead of the connection through Syracuse.

  • You check 4 times a day to see if US Airways brings back the Grand Slam promo before merging Dividend Miles into American AAdvantage.

  • One half of your brain keeps trying to calculate the cost/mile value of a mileage run against a baseline of a $24.98 San Francisco – Paris ticket, leading to a temporary conclusion that a $507 New York – Singapore trip is “expensive”.

  • You criticize your spouse for not spending enough (“doing your share”) on the credit card last month.

  • You see a lone shopper in the grocery store place a box of Nutrigrain bars in his cart — and you have to bite your tongue not to ask him if he will be using the 100 miles on the box.

  • Your teen learns that the best way to ask for something is “It’s on sale, and you’ll still earn miles for it!”

  • When all your friends are in debt to you because you always pick up the check at lunch.

  • One of the first things you do with the person you are training is to go over the airlines and routes out of their local airport, and which mileage programs will work best for them.

  • When you have not only YOUR frequent flier and credit card numbers memorized, but also the numbers for family and friends that you book travel for.

  • You know all your mileage balances within 50 miles, but can’t remember your phone number.

  • You used to drive past half a dozen gas stations and ten extra miles to the Shell that accepted Diners Club even though the “low fuel” light on your dashboard had been on all day. You miss the days when nobody accepted Diners Club, because the card’s perks were better.

  • The only thing you use Excel for is tracking miles, and you write to Microsoft asking them to include class-of-service bonus spreadsheet function to the next version of Office.

  • You walk into a meeting at the office and people ask, “So where did you go last weekend?”

  • You buy flowers for your wife so you will earn partner credit in a shopping portal promotion. What’s worse is when she asks you if the florist is a partner.

  • A loved one passes away and you think that the funeral home accepting your miles-earning credit card mitigates your loss.

  • You book an international trip because you don’t want to waste a Systemwide Upgrade domestically.

  • You plan day trips to cities you find boring just because there’s a websaver and you can get free booze in the lounge.

  • You get a big goofy smile when you hear “Rhapsody in Blue”

(* Culled from multiple folks, these do not originate with me but I don’t have all the attributions unfortunately.)

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary ┬╗

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Comments

  1. This post may be dated!
    You haven’t been able to earn American miles on Nutrigrain bars in years (eeek)
    I did close to a million before they set limits on how many you could earn

  2. Those are great. I especially like the funeral one.
    I’ll add two of my own:
    1. Your office landlord says he will no longer accept credit cards for rent and you (most sincerely) say you’re going to move. After over 23 years.
    2. Bluebird closes your account and you want to cry. You spend all morning scanning the points blogs to find out what’s going on, even though you need to get to the airport for a flight (that you can only afford because of this game).

  3. These are hilarious. I especially like the reference to United, not because I like United much but because I have performed the music many times.

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