Oliver sends me to the just-announced Business Traveller Awards for 2010. Presumably he does this so my head will fall off my head and begin spinning while steam pours out my eyes.
Now, these awards — given by a group of self-appointed experts without transparent criteria — are often nonsense. The better awards give reason to quibble, and individuals can differ, but this one is perhaps the most ludicrous not only because it’s selections are inane but because they are not even internally consistent.
They can’t even both to massage idiotic results so that they’re consistently idiotic in the same way across categories!
Take Emirates, which they say is a better airline than British Airways (true enough). But then British Airways is a better long-haul airline than Emirate. Questionable at best. But for both statements to be true, then Emirates must be a better short-haul airline to compensate.
(Right? If BA is better long-haul, then for Emirates to be better overall they must beat out BA for short-haul. Otherwise if BA is better in both categories it should be better overall.)
But wait! British Airways is listed as THE BEST short-haul airline. Which means logically they cannot conclude what they conclude, that Emirates is better overall.
Meanwhile, let’s stay on Emirates for a minute. They’re the second best in the world, and the only Middle East carrier listed among the world’s best. But somehow they lag behind Etihad in the Middle East.
Okay, let’s return to British Airways. Before I focus on more logical inconsistencies, let’s just stop to ponder any survey that claims British Airways to have the world’s 3rd best cabin staff.
Oh, wait, this is the same survey that lists Heathrow among the world’s best airports. Also THE best for duty free, though to me Sydney seems missing here..
While we’re on the theme of boosting British Airways beyond any reasonable comprehension, let’s all hail that their airport lounges are ranked as second in the world, second only to the Virgin Clubhouse at Heathrow, and that Business Traveller doesn’t seem to think much of Lufthansa’s German offerings to name just one missing example.
Since we’re talking Heathrow, let’s get back to inconsistency. Heathrow is name as one of the world’s best airports, Amsterdam is not. But Amsterdam is ranked as a better airport than Heathrow within Europe. (Does this mean that Heathrow must therefore be better than Amsterdam outside of Europe in order to compensate and score higher overall?)
Really, I need to stop. Because once I get down to the rankings of best individual business hotels in North America, find that the four best are all in New York, and that the list includes the Intercontinental Barclay and the Waldorf Astoria…
Thanks, Oliver. The bright red cinders in my eyes are beginning to burn out, hopefully I’ll recover.
In the meantime, have you voted in the Frequent Traveler Awards? Because not only does the Frequent Traveler awards spell its name with only one L (!), but certainly you can do better with your vote than these Business Traveller awards do with all of theirs…!